Quiet! Team Dog Bark!

Team Dog Bark continues.

Even a visit from animal control didn’t have a real and lasting impact; Mr. I’m An Engineer’s dogs continue to bark in staccato bursts every time a leaf falls from a tree or a cloud floats by.

What’s worse is that holding the leashes of these four boisterous canines are people with no empathy and worse yet, don’t know the usage difference between “your” and “you’re” in their posts on FB. Their confusion with “they’re,” “their” and “there” truly distinguishes these English-speaking troglodytes among the witless group of writers of the “I’m too broke to pay attention” crowd. Their peers stand proudly by.

It’s embarrassing to watch their repartee on FB because though they believe themselves to be quit-witted in their responses and slyly manipulative in their comments, their people skills are on par with their language skills.

Complaining Neighbor is the target of the wife’s venom on FB. I presume she posts because Mr. I’m An Engineer is busy loading up his gun and placing mirrors along the back of his house so he can see if Complaining Neighbor is videotaping him while he’s in his back yard.

Last week, the Complaining Neighbor caught him looking in her windows, glaring and with one hand on the revolver tucked into his belt, cowboy-style.

Mr. I’m An Engineer’s wife sniped at Complaining Neighbor that “I’m glad your (sic) moving.”

Of course, I chimed in from the side that even though Complaining Neighbor is leaving, it’s expected that the dogs will continue their journey into quiet. Mr. I’m An Engineer’s Wife, now known to all of you as Mrs. Curly No Spell lamented at how hard she’s worked to keep the dogs quiet. I can tell she’s trying to make an effort, however, for as bad as she is at possessive adjectives, modified nouns and contractions she’s worse at keeping the dogs quiet.

Mrs. Curly No Spell shot off a comment at me about calling my cats in. That’s top in her book of Egregious Sins of a Neighbor. I wonder if she thinks this is a street where you can’t make noise? That’s a ridiculous assumption and sad all at the same time.

All of us are making noise on the street, you just can’t hear it over their dogs’ barking.

Noisy neighbors include the kid next door likes to listen to music while he works on his car. What a crime! The neighbor across from me is mitigating and cuts down trees. Intolerable! The neighbor behind me has a new puppy that doesn’t bark when he’s out. See? Another neighbor has horses and they canter them up and down the road. How dare they.

She’s lucky she doesn’t live closer to the neighbor with his grow operation. He and his friends light up on a regular basis and that smell carries far enough that some nights I have to keep my windows closed. Chances are we’d like Mr. I’m An Engineer and Mrs. Curly No Spell if they smoked a little reefer every once and a while.

No, it’s not a quiet street. People live here but could do without the soundtrack of four barking meat bags.

The neighborhood, while rather a bunch of loners, does talk amongst ourselves occasionally. Friends say Mrs. Curly No Spell is lonely up here and can’t understand why people are so mean and have turned against them. Perhaps setting up a shooting range in the back yard has something to do with it?

Also turns out that Mrs. Curly No Spell sells half truths: they only got a ticket for unlicensed dogs (unvaccinated, too, so half-true), the sheriff who lives on the corner comes over and shoots with Mr. I’m An Engineer (NOT true) and it’s not their dogs that bark, it’s the ones across the street (half true).

Mrs. Curly No Spell complains about the dogs across the street from her and how they bark AND run free. She’s right about that. Renters took over a huge house and property and their dogs do bark and harass people walking on the street. You’d think she’d call animal control but why invite the devil back to your house once he’s left? They’re still hiding the fact that they have an unlicensed doggie day care at the house. She cries out to the internet flinging sad jabs at how unjust the world is to them and their poor little babies.

She posted that they’re putting up a tall fence around their property so the dogs won’t be able to see what’s going on around them and bark in response. It’s a start but somehow the history of half-truths leaves me skeptical.

Neighbors are surprised they haven’t put a ‘for sale’ sign on the house and bugged out to greener pastures. I wouldn’t want to live on a street where people didn’t want me there.

Almost as good as a ‘for sale’ sign, Mr. I’m An Engineer and Mrs. Curly No Spell are apparently on vacation. The neighbor’s kid is caring for Team Dog Bark and oddly, the dogs are QUIET. They do go out, do their doggy business and return, uninspired to the confines of their ownerless home.

It makes you wonder – if the dogs don’t bark when the owners are gone, then the barking must be coming from the owner’s presence. Somehow I feel a bit sorry for the dogs. Their passive-aggressiveness is to be admired.

One can only hope this little vacation means they’re flinging their collection real estate hook to some other parts unknown in search of a place where their dogs can bark all day and they can shoot off guns without much fuss from the neighbors.

One can only hope.

Woof.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: